Good Listener: Are You One?

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Marla Martenson, author of entitled Hearts on the Line: The Elusive Pursuit of Love in the City of Angels: I say that all the time. Some people look better in their picture and some people look better in person. Like you said, that’s one-dimensional.

I know that most of us matchmakers ask for feedback after the first introduction. We like feedback from both sides.

Do you find any patterns in the feedback that you get from men post-first date?


Marla Martenson

Good Listener: Let Them Talk

Lately, I haven’t gotten it so much, but they used to constantly tell me that their date just talked about themselves.

If both of them told me that, then who was talking?

They both got that impression. I would say, “Really work on your listening skills on a date.”

Good Listener vs. Therapist

When someone asks you about your ex or why something didn’t work out, don’t go on for a half an hour about how terrible they are. They are using the date as their therapist.

They will come away and say, “I felt like I was that person’s therapist for the evening instead of their date.”


Jasbina Ahluwalia

What about women? Do you hear the same kinds of things from women in the feedback that they give?


Marla Martenson

Yes, sometimes it’s both. Sometimes I have to coach them on that.

That’s the negative aspect. Sometimes that will happen.

You think people would know that by now after all these books, blogs and radio shows are telling them.

They fall back into patterns.


Tell Us:

Have you ever felt like your date goes on and on about themselves? Have you ever checked to see if you’re being a good listener? Tell us about some of your dates in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Marla Martenson

The entire interview transcript is at: Marla Martenson Interview – Insights on Matchmaking & Dating

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Hearts On The Line – Discussion with Marla Martenson

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes