Online Dating Profile: Be Yourself

Online Dating Profile: Describe Yourself

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Julie Spira and Dr. Dale Koppel: Dr. Koppel, in terms of writing an online profile, you say, “Don’t say it when you can show it.” Can you give us some examples?

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Dr. Dale Koppel

Online Dating Profile: Use Humor

Yes, I can. I like to use the example where everyone says they have a sense of humor.

I remember all of the times I went out with a man who said he had a sense of humor. Of course, I said that I had a sense of humor. Then I would say something funny and he wouldn’t laugh.

I thought to myself, “Everybody has a sense of humor. Everybody is going to say it in their profile. Not everybody has the same sense of humor.”

If you can say something that you think is funny in your profile rather than saying, “I have a sense of humor,” and the other person gets it, then you know that at least in terms of sense of humor that the two of you are compatible.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

Dale, you also recommended that in your online profile you describe what you’re looking for in a partner and in your life as opposed to describing who you think you are. Can you tell us about that?

Dr. Dale Koppel

I didn’t realize that it was the case and that, in fact, I was doing that.

I didn’t realize how important it was until Peter, my Mr. Right, pointed that out to me.

Online Dating Profile: Encourage Conversation

When he read my profile, in his first email, he said that it was one of the best profiles he’d read. It was because I said who I was looking for in a man. He said, “I think you’re looking for me.”

He said that when somebody writes about who they are, he found that this was something that the other person will decide when they meet you.

I thought about it afterwards. I am a writer. I think it’s more engaging to the reader to read about themselves.

Obviously, if you say, “I’m looking for a man who likes to ski,” the assumption is that you like to ski. It’s a much more engaging way of approaching a profile by talking about the other person.

Julie Spira

Online Dating Profile: Don’t Exaggerate

You’d be surprised how many women will say they like that they like to golf when they really don’t golf at all. They’re just hoping to get a country club guy.

Dr. Dale Koppel

Right, or the men who say they do yoga. Then you say, “Oh, you do yoga?” They say, “Yes, I tried it once in college.” That’s true.

I think the basis of this is that you want to be honest when you talk about the man you’re looking for.

You might want to say, “I’m looking for a man who belongs to a country club.”

Julie Spira