tips for no more sucky first dates ever again[VIDEO] Tips For No More Sucky First Dates EVER Again (& A Second & Third)

If we could just bottle up the ingredients for the perfect date, we’d pretty much be set for life.

We think it’s safe to say that everyone has had that one dating experience that was so terrible that it made them want to swear off from going on dates ever again.

We know that when it comes to first dates, nothing is always going to be perfect – But that definitely doesn’t mean that we should be looking for an escape route before the date is even over!

That explains why we were totally ecstatic to hear that YourTango Experts – Matchmakers Paul C. Brunson, Peggy Wolman, Jasbina Ahluwalia, Michelle Jacoby, and Marla Martenson know the secret to avoiding sucky dates!

No, we’re not kidding and this is not a test. Even though it may not seem like it, there really are different (not to mention effective) ways to make sure that you have a great date the next time around.

Are we the only ones who think that there is nothing better than having so much chemistry with your date that you can’t help but be in awe of the sparks?

If you want to have a connection that’s as strong as the ones we see in movies, you may want to take notes.

Check out the video above to learn about ‘Tips For No More Sucky First Dates EVER Again (& A Second & Third).’

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Paul Carrick Brunson

(00:13): Let’s say that it’s someone who knows they’re going to go on a date tonight. It’s their first time meeting this person. What can they do to almost ensure themselves having a great time? Is it putting on the right dress or envisioning?

 

Michelle Jacoby

(00:26): It’s all about the right attitude.

 

Jasbina Ahluwalia

(00:28):  You have to shelf self-consciousness.

 

Marla Martenson

(00:31): You want to get excited about it. Some people are bitter. They think, “Another first date. I went on 20. This never works out.” No. You have to say, “I’m going to meet a really interesting person tonight. I’m going out. We’re going to this great new restaurant. I’m excited. They have my favorite martini. If it’s not a love connection, I’m having a great night.

 

Michelle Jacoby

(00:54): I think it’s about your attitude going in. It’s like anything we do and accomplish in life. You need to have the right attitude going in. Your attitude isn’t, “Is this man going to be my future husband?” When I was single, my attitude was, “I’m going to go on this date. I’m going to have fun no matter what. I’m going to authentically connect with another person so that I can find out what he’s about. I’m having fun no matter what, even if he’s not fun.”

 

Paul Carrick Brunson

(1:16): How do you get into that? Let’s say you’ve had a crappy day at work.

 

Marla Martenson

(1:21): Turn on your favorite song and dance.

 

Jasbina Ahluwalia

(1:23): Don’t go straight from work in your work clothes with the troubles of the day and straight to a date. Have a little ritual. Have some time. Take a bath. Take a walk. Put some music on and just get into a different mind space. Change your clothes. Have a drink.

 

Michelle Jacoby

(1:59): I want to tell a story about a client I had at the Pentagon in a very masculine environment. She was going on dates with men and no one wanted to see her again. She was wonderful. She was attractive. She had everything going for her. Everyone kept saying, “No chemistry.”

I said, “From now on, you only go on dates on the weekend. Before a date, you have to do one of two things. You have to get a mani/pedi or take a bubble bath. You need to do something where you can disconnect from your day and feel feminine. You have to wear a dress, no more pants suits. On the date, you may not talk about work. There is so much more to you than your work.

 

Paul Carrick Brunson

(2:38): I want to talk about the dress for a minute. That’s a big question. What do I wear? Marla, you talked about the outfit that someone wore on a first date that was a little too puffy. What’s the ideal outfit for a woman to wear on a first date?

 

Marla Martenson

(2:54): The ideal outfit is something feminine that shows your figure, but you don’t want to wear a mini skirt and plunging cleavage. You don’t want to look like a hooker. You want to be tasteful. If you do have a V neckline then wear something longer. Wear something form-fitting with a little color.

 

Michelle Jacoby

(3:13): “Feminine” is the key word.

 

Marla Martenson

(3:19): I’m in LA and women tend to show their “wears” that they paid a lot of money for.

 

Paul Carrick Brunson

(3:21): This is something I have a big question about. What is too much cleavage?

 

Marla Martenson

(3:24): My husband is funny. He’s an entertainer. He works in Beverly Hills performing. He’ll say, “I saw your friend Linda come in the other night showing everything but the nipples.” These women will come in with literally everything hanging out. It’s a turn-off. They might take you to bed but they are not going to take you home to their mother or introduce you to their business colleagues.

 

Peggy Wolman

(3:54): The flip side of that is that it’s so important that a guy give a compliment. Not an insincere compliment. There has to be something about that woman that night that you need to find a way to give a compliment to a woman. I’ve never known of a successful date without a compliment.

 

Marla Martenson

(4:18): And you should give one to him, because men rarely get compliments.

 

Paul Carrick Brunson

(4:19): That is the truth.

 

Michelle Jacoby

(4:20): They don’t realize how much time and effort women put into looking pretty for them.

 

Paul Carrick Brunson

(4:25): What do you advise the man to wear on the first date?

 

Marla Martenson

(4:31): Polished shoes, for sure. I’ve had women say, “My God, his shoes were all dirty or scuffed up.”

 

Peggy Wolman

(4:36): You look perfect. This is first date attire to me.

 

Jasbina Ahluwalia

(4:44): You want to make a little effort.

 

Marla Martenson

(4:48): Men, don’t be afraid to get a mani/pedi. No one likes hang nails, chewed up nails or dirt under them. I wouldn’t want a man to touch me with those kind of nails. Don’t be afraid to go get a mani/pedi as a man.

 

Paul Carrick Brunson

(5:01): Let’s say that I show up like this and my date shows up in sneakers. Does that show incompatibility? Can we still have a great time on our date?

 

Marla Martenson

(5:12): You can go in the bathroom, take off your tie and get a little more casual.

 

Peggy Wolman

(5:14): At some point, she’s going to have an image consultant. She’s going to see that she’s going out with a really well-dressed guy. She’s going to think to herself, “He looks so cool. He’s dressed so great.”

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What do you think?

Tips For No More Sucky First Dates EVER Again (& A Second & Third) – what do you think? Share with us in the comments below.

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