Everyone Loves the Same Way
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Helen Fisher: That message tells you to give that date another shot, unless there are red flags. You mentioned the survey data. This is not based on the Match.com subscribers but the public at large.
Was there anything from the most recent survey that surprised you?
Dr. Helen Fisher
There are many things but there are two that I really like.
Everyone Loves the Same Way: Gays
One of them is that gays and lesbians are just like heterosexuals.
- They fall in love just as often.
- They’re eager for deep attachments.
- They spend just as many nights at home by themselves cooking their dinner.
- They’re just like everyone else.
Who they fall for is different but how they feel when they fall in love and how they court is exactly the same. I think that needed to be said.
Everyone Loves the Same Way: Senior Citizens
Here is the other thing. I’m older. I’m a senior citizen, and we’re just like everyone else.
Everyone Loves the Same Way: Darwinian Perspective
When you think of it from a Darwinian evolutionary perspective, marriage evolved for having babies and passing on your DNA.
Everyone Loves the Same Way: Marriage 20s vs 40s
The people in their 20s and 30s are the most eager to marry and settle down because they have a job to do. They need to have babies, pass on their DNA and build a family life.
The further you get into your 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s, the less likely you are to want to wed. Older people are not desperate.
Everyone Loves the Same Way: Question
A question that I love to ask is, “Would you make a long-term commitment to someone who had everything you were looking for but you were not in love with them?”
The least likely to make a long-term commitment without romantic love were people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s.
It’s the young who need to make some compromises in order to pick the right partner to have babies with.
I think we have a misunderstanding of gays and straights. I also think we have a misunderstanding of older people and men.
Everyone Loves the Same Way: Life Stages
That makes sense when you look at the reasoning. It’s very interesting.
Different stages are looking for different things. Certain things that are important in your 20s and 30s become not so much in your 50s and 60s, and the reverse.
I think that lining up all singles can be counterproductive.
Dr. Helen Fisher
Most of our studies of sexuality are on college students because that’s where the professors are and where they can get a large group of people.
Everyone Loves the Same Way: More Alike With Age
It is my hypothesis that in your late teens and early 20s that the sexes are the least alike.
- Women are the most likely to get pregnant so they’re going to be a little bit more picky.
- Men have almost nothing to lose by sleeping around.
I think that, as the sexes get older, they get more alike. That is not shown in most of our academic studies.
Given who you’re studying.
Dr. Helen Fisher
They haven’t studied older compared to younger people.
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Everyone loves the same way, now that this has been said, what did you learn from this discussion? Share with us in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Helen Fisher.
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: NetIP Spotlight- Live Your Potential