Debi Berndt Interview – Guide To Allow True Love Into Your Life
“Let Love In”
Jasbina Ahluwalia interviews Debi Berndt
A few topics Debi Berndt addresses in this interview are:
- (1:51) Subconscious Effect on Dating
- (4:20) Take Charge in Dating
- (7:23) Transform From Inside: 3 Steps
- (9:55) Reading Energies: Dating
- (13:50) Relationship Models of Women
- (17:08) Discover Relationship Desires
- (20:52) Voice of Wisdom: In You
- (24:29) Control Timing in Life
Debi is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Love Coach, Author and Speaker. She is the author of the bestselling book, Let Love In: How to Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner.
Debra has been interviewed on television and radio internationally including FOX NYC, NBC News, Fox News Online, ABC News, Let’s Talk Live, Life Coach TV, Playboy Radio, YourTango, Cosmopolitan, Complete Woman, Publishers Weekly, WB Network, Match.com, Lavalife and ExpertVillage. She conducts seminars across the U.S. and online.
(00:49): Hello everyone and welcome to Intersections Match’s Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show focused on the continual evolution into the best versions of our authentic selves. We and our guests discuss relationships and health and wellness, each of which contributes to meaningful and fulfilling lives.
This is Jasbina, your host. I’m a former practicing lawyer and the Founder of Intersections Match, the only elite national personalized matchmaking company focused on singles of South Asian descent nationwide in the US.
I’m very excited to welcome Debi Berndt to our show tonight. Debi is an internationally recognized relationship expert who has been featured extensively on television and radio, including ABC News and Playboy Radio. Debi has been interviewed as a relationship expert for Match.com, MSN and Lavalife. Tonight, we’ll be discussing Debi’s book, Let Love In. Welcome, Debi.
(1:48): It’s great to be here. Thank you.
Subconscious Effect on Dating
(1:51): It’s a pleasure to have you. As a professional dating coach and matchmaker, I’m fascinated by insights and perspectives regarding relationships.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading your book and would love to explore some of the insights that you shared.
To begin with, what prompted you to write this book in the first place?
(2:10): I always get that question.
I was single until I was 41. I started writing the book before I met my man.
I was in the corporate world. I was unhappy with what I did for a living. I struggled with love my whole life.
Fate stepped in and I was laid off from my corporate job. I went to hypnotherapy school. Through that, I learned about the subconscious mind.
Elaborating on Subconscious Effect on Dating.
Take Charge in Dating
(4:20): In your book, you pose a compelling question to readers. You say, “What if I told you that you were responsible for creating every dating experience you ever had?”
Debbie, can you tell us about that?
(4:43): It’s a really hard concept. We think, “Relationships are two people.”
You go out with someone and they don’t turn out to be very nice, they flake out or they don’t want to commit.
You think, “She’s the jerk. It’s something wrong with the world.”
All the time, we have a choice. We always have a choice of who we are attracted to. Sometimes that choice isn’t conscious, but we do make a choice.
Elaborating on Take Charge in Dating.
Transform From Inside: 3 Steps
(7:23): You are changing from the inside. I find that very empowering.
You outline three steps in the process of transforming from the inside out. You change what you term your “love destiny.” Would you tell our listeners about that?
3 Steps Transform From Inside Out
- Right frame of mind.
- Align emotions and body.
Elaborating on 3 Steps Transform From Inside Out.
Reading Energies: Dating
(9:55): Yes. That’s very empowering. In your book, you discuss what you term the “law of transfiguration” in the context of dating.
Will you please share this concept with our listeners?
(10:11): We’re always unconsciously reading each other all the time.
We do this with body language. That’s the simplest way to explain it.
We also sync up our brains and energies. They sync up to whoever we’re around.
Elaborating on Reading Energies: Dating.
Relationship Models of Women
(13:50): Yes. I think that there is certain energy. It is all tied up with your thoughts.
In your book, you share 10 different general categories of relationship models that women tend to fall into.
Can you share a couple of them including the false underlying beliefs that are involved?
(14:36): One is the woman who feels like no guy is good enough.
I hear this a lot with my clients. They say, “He’s just not good enough. He’s not this. He doesn’t have that. He’s not ready. He lives in the wrong state. He’s too short. He’s too tall.”
This person is never satisfied.
Elaborating on Relationship Models of Women.
Discover Relationship Desires
(17:08): I found the following words in your book empowering. I’m going to read these words for the benefit of our listeners.
“In order to use the law of attraction successfully, you must discover your true inner desire and fulfill that need on your own.” Please tell us about that.
(17:38): So many people want love to make them feel good about themselves. It’s sort of like a dog chasing its tail. They never get it.
They’re chasing something that is outside of them. They think, “If I don’t feel good, if I get this person to love me, then I’ll be okay.”
A lot of times, it’s not even about falling in love and having that experience. That’s maybe what they think.
Elaborating on Discover Relationship Desires.
Voice of Wisdom: In You
(20:52): You can’t short circuit that. In dating coaching, we’re often pushing people outside of their comfort zone.
This quote really resonated. You said, “Learning to recognize whether your feelings are truly intuitive nudges or old, worn-out fears is the trickiest part of this process.”
Can you share with our listeners what you mean by that?
(21:28): I talked earlier about Boardroom Betty who is so used to being single that the subconscious will fight to keep her single.
It shows up in the mind as a very logical excuse.
To compare it, think about when someone tries to get on a new workout routine. They get up in the morning. They have intentions. “I want to get that nice, hot body for the beach.”
Then the voice in their head says, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just sleep in this morning? Let’s start tomorrow.”
That voice does the same thing with love. It’s that dysfunctional
Elaborating on Voice of Wisdom: In You.
Control Timing in Life
(24:29): Yes, it’s that fine-tuning. Listening and seeing how things pan out is important. I really appreciate you sharing your insights with us, Debi. They’ve been really interesting. I’m wondering if you have any last thought or take-home message that you’d like to leave our listeners with.
(24:49): A lot of people talk about timing and fate. I guess we’ll find out the truth of all of the laws of life after we die.
It’s my opinion that we’re creating it ourselves.
Elaborating on Control Timing in Life.
(26:57): What you’re putting out is what you’re getting back. It comes full circle with what we talked about before in terms of being responsible for creating one’s dating experience. I’d like to thank Debi for joining us today. It’s been a pleasure.
(27:19): Thank you. It’s been great.
(27:24): If you’d like to learn more about the insights that Debi has been sharing with us today, her book is entitled Let Love In. In case you joined us late or would like to share this show with people in your life, I’d like to remind you that today’s radio show will be archived and available as a podcast on Intersections Match’s website, which is www.IntersectionsMatch.com. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Debi, would you like to share a website with our listeners today?
(27:52): Yes, if they want to download a free gift, my website is AttractLoveCoach.com. I have a free seminar on there. You can get 10 Mistakes That Singles Make When They Try to Look for Love. The seminar is called How to Turn on Your Love Switch so You Can Attract the Love of Your Life. There is a little meditation. You can check that out, too.
If you get my book, you also get Attract the Love of Your Life audio. That download comes with the book. It’s really great stuff. I believe it’s one of the best relationship books ever written.
(28:32): That’s wonderful. It is a great book. I highly recommend it. I appreciate you hanging out with us. Do email me with topics you’d like discussed in future shows. Make sure to join us for next month’s show. Take care, everyone.
What do you think?
Would you like to add to the insights shared in the Debi Berndt Interview? Share your thoughts in the comments below.