Courting Women: How to Do It Online

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Julie Spira and Dr. Dale Koppel: Do you have any advice for them in terms of courting and approaching women online?

Do either of you have anything to share with our male listeners along those lines?

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Dr. Dale Koppel

Courting Women: The Special Emails

I was especially appalled by men who would send what were entirely formulated emails. They were very long.

I knew they just hit the button and sent it to everybody. It had nothing to let me to know that they had even read my profile.

I think it’s a very bad first contact with a woman.

Courting Women, Short and Sweet Notes

I think a man should send a short email but something that really identifies the reason why he wrote to you and what it was about your profile that interested him.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

They should really personalize it to the profile of the person you’re writing to.

Dr. Dale Koppel

Yes. They don’t have to repeat what’s already in that profile. That will be read. I think it’s about saying something that really makes a woman feel that he was paying attention.

Julie Spira

Yes, I agree. It’s very important.

Courting Women: Make An Impression

There’s always something in your profile that a man is going to resonate with. Whatever that is, he should put that in the very first sentence when he writes to you.

There are these people who copy and paste the same email over and over again.

Courting Women: Numbers Game

Not only do they do it to you and other women, because it’s a numbers game, but years later, if you happen to go back online and suddenly your relationship hasn’t worked out, those same guys will write to you with the same email they used years earlier.

I don’t understand how they haven’t realized that we’ve caught on to that. Copy plus paste equals erase.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

That’s great for our male listeners to have those insights.

What about our female listeners? Is there anything in particular that you can share with them that might be helpful as they go through their online dating efforts?

Julie Spira

Courting Women and Dating Women: Be Organized

I think it’s really important to be organized.

Most women and men are now going on two to three sites at a time.

They aren’t just picking one site anymore. They usually pick one major site, such as Match.com, a niche site like JDate and a free site like Plenty of Fish or OkCupid.

If you’re going to juggle three different online dating sites and you’re brand new, you will get hundreds of emails a day. You need to be organized.

I recommend that single women and men put together whatever organizational system works for them.

I use a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet. It’s numbered and dated. It has the screen name, age, height, weight and profession. Then I color-code it.

Whoever is the most interesting of that group, I will highlight it. Then it gives me an opportunity to wane it down to five that I might really want to meet.

If you’re getting so many emails, don’t get overwhelmed by it. Just learn how to manage it. There is one there for you.

Dr. Dale Koppel