A family also might hire a marriage broker to help the process along. These days,

matrimony websites can serve the same broker role as the "aunties."

Parents, both in India and in the U.S., create profiles listing their children's personal

and familial information -- including caste and religion -- on sites like

Bharatmatrimony.com, which has more than 20 million profiles worldwide.

The website's CEO, Murugavel Janakiraman, said 10 percent of clients are immigrants

to the U.S. or American-born Indians.

"There have been a lot of more modern inventions trying to achieve the same goal as

matchmaking by'aunties,'" Harlan said. Such inventions, she said, are "a reaction to

the fear that kids will make inappropriate choices and suffer the same divorce rates

that the (U.S.) does in general."

Parties like Mittal's can serve to either continue or break tradition: Singles might click

with somebody outside their caste, or they could meet more of "the kind of people that

your parents would like you to marry" than they might in everyday life, Harlan said.

Thakur's parents encouraged her to go the singles party, even though they had wanted

to arrange a marriage for her when she was younger. Now that she's older, her father

is more open-minded about who his daughter marries -- "but it has to be an Indian,"

she added, and preferably from one of the higher castes.

Thakur herself is also more open to arranged marriage than she was when she was

young.

"When you're working, it's really difficult to meet people," Thakur said. "You go there,

you meet someone. You can meet them a few times. It's basically semi-arranged."

Thakur's desire to marry reflects Indians' traditional values at a time when only 51

percent of American adults are wed, according to 2010 Census data.

"It's not like a flirty or just everyday kind of party," Mittal said. "From the girls' side or

boys' side, they are both serious about finding a life partner."

Indian immigrants tend to look for the same religion, caste and region, Mittal said.

American-born Indians might want somebody who is Indian, preferably raised in

America, too. Ninety percent of Hindus in America marry within the faith, according

to the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life.

"I've seen so much that blows those stereotypes out of the water," said Jasbina

Ahluwalia, a Bay Area matchmaker who serves the South Asian community. Still,

culture can add a burden to dating.

"Separating one's own priorities and values from expectations of others -- family,

parents -- I think can be very challenging," she said.

Even if parents approach her, as they sometimes do, the first consultation must be

with the single person, in private. "If someone says,'I want to find another Indian,' I

ask why," she said.