is an Indian-American attorney turned entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker / Dating Coach.
She is the Founder / President of Intersections Match, the only Elite
Personalized Matchmaking & Dating Coaching Firm in the country serving
Selective Singles of South Asian descent Nationwide in the U.S. Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle
show featuring conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness. For more information, please visit
www.IntersectionsMatch.com. Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this
column to Jasbina
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I’m fortunate to have a great family,
good friends, and a successful career.
I feel like I’m in a good place, except
that I’m missing a partner with whom
I can share my life. While my parents
would like me to be proactive in
searching for a mate, I hear from
others that I’ll eventually meet
my special someone.
by Jasbina Ahluwalia
If you felt something missing in any other arena of your life, would you
just sit back and wait for it to happen, or be proactive? Is your love life
any less worthy of your time and energy?
As a first step, look internally before looking externally. Identify your
must-haves and deal-breakers. Differentiate between essential needs on
the one hand, and non-essential wants/preferences on the other.
Critically evaluate the underlying basis of each need: past relationships
or experiences, values, priorities, others’ expectations, and/or stereo-
types? Given each need likely narrows your pool of potentials, make
sure each need is truly essential (so you do not risk missing out on po-
tential partners with whom you could very well be happy). Do the same
for your deal-breakers. While this self-evaluative process may seem in-
volved, it will likely save you time, energy, and heartbreak, in the future.
Then it’s time to look externally. Have you told everyone in your life
that you’d be happy to meet any good eligible singles? Apart from
one-on-one introductions, having a party with friends where all the
guests show up with a platonic friend/ex is a great way to expand your
universe of potentials.
Are you going to singles events, or participating in activities that are
likely to have singles in attendance?
Are you dating online? Is your online search effective or half-hearted?
If you are posting a photo, is it an accurate representation of the best
version of yourself? Is your profile thoughtful and inviting? Are you
meeting potentials in-person instead of getting caught up in endless
Are you making snap judgments on first dates, or truly allowing yourself
to get to know your date with an open-minded mindset?
Have you considered hiring a matchmaker/dating coach if your time is
limited and you’d like to be as strategic as possible?
As in all other areas of life, endeavor to align your actions and efforts
with your values and goals. If you truly place a high value on your love
life, take action accordingly.