ANSWER

by Jasbina Ahluwalia

I can appreciate the frustration you’re feeling. My

first suggestion is to have a heart-to-heart with the

woman you’re seeing. Start the conversation by ex-

pressing how much you really like her and why you

like her. If you’re exclusive with her, let her know

you chose to be exclusive because of the person she

is and are not interested in exploring a relationship

with any other woman. It is possible she is feeling

insecure, so spelling out how important she is to

you may go a long way towards alleviating any con-

cerns she may have (justified or not). You may also

wish to ask her if there is any particular behavior or

habit of yours that is causing her to feel this anxiety.

Even behaviors that seem innocuous to you might

be triggering concern based on a past relationship

she’s had. While you are certainly not responsible

for another person’s behavior, it can be difficult for

many of us to view each new relationship or person

in an unbiased way due to our previous experiences

(or even experiences of other people in our lives).

Let her know you highly value her trust and will not

betray it.

During this conversation, I would also express how

her behavior makes you feel. Let her know you like

her so much you do not want to let her behavior

get in the way of your relationship. Let her know

how important it is to you that the person you are

with trusts you.

If these suggestions don’t alleviate the situation, you

may want to encourage her to seek counseling to

work through what may be trust issues. If you really

like her, perhaps you can let her know you will

support her as she seeks counseling.

Best wishes!

QUESTION

I just started seeing a really

great girl, but she's constantly

second-guessing everything I do.

For instance, when I go out with

friends, she has to know where

I'm going, when I'm going to be

back and who's going to be

there. I get the feeling she

doesn't trust me. One time

she even showed up with

her friends. I really like her,

but I can't deal with this!

Jasbina Ahluwalia is an Attorney turned Entrepreneur, Indian-American Relationship Expert, Matchmaker and

Radio Show Host. She is the Founder / President of Intersections Match, the only Elite Personalized Matchmaking &

Dating Coaching Firm in the country serving Selective Singles of South Asian descent Nationwide in the U.S. Jasbina is

also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show featuring conversations with published authors/

experts on relationships and health and wellness.

For more information, please visit www.IntersectionsMatch.com. Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this

column to Jasbina directly at Jasbina@IntersectionsMatch.com.

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