Jasbina Ahluwalia

is an Indian-American attorney turned entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker / Dating

Coach. She is the Founder / President of Intersections Match, the only Elite

Personalized Matchmaking & Dating Coaching Firm in the

country serving Selective Singles of South Asian descent Nationwide in the U.S. Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a

monthly holistic lifestyle show featuring conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness. For more

information, please visit

www.IntersectionsMatch.com. Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this

column to Jasbina

directly at Jasbina@IntersectionsMatch.com.

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QUESTION

I’m ready to put some real effort

into my search for a partner, and

I’ve decided to try online dating.

I’m uncomfortable putting my

picture up online but have been

told that not doing so is a

mistake. What do you think?

ANSWER

by Jasbina Ahluwalia

One of my suggestions to commitment-minded men and women ready

to prioritize meeting a partner is to be as proactive as possible in the

relationship arena of their lives by aligning their actions with their goals.

In my opinion, online dating is a great avenue to meet people if you’re

willing to put the time and effort into doing so effectively.

Since a significant number of men and women will entirely disregard

online profiles posted without pictures, one limits oneself substantially

by choosing not to post a picture online.

When I’m working with our dating coaching clients on their online

profiles and communications, one of the first things I do is to ensure

that the picture (s) the client posts online is (are) a recent and accurate

representation of the best version of their authentic self. Selecting the

right pictures warrants due consideration: while you certainly want to

put your best foot forward and make a great first impression with your

online pictures, in doing so, you do not want to sabotage your first

in-person encounters by setting the bar unrealistically high.

What makes you uncomfortable about the idea of posting a picture

online?

Some of our matchmaking clients are too high-profile in their industries

to be comfortable posting pictures of themselves online. While I can

certainly appreciate that (and that is one of the reasons for our custom-

ized services), such a situation precludes those clients from being ideal

candidates for online dating.

If there is anything about you physically which makes you less than

confident (your hairstyle, crooked and/or stained teeth, those couple

of extra pounds etc.), consider taking care of it before going online so

you can put your most confident self forward. While it is important

that the motivation to make changes to your physical self be

internally-motivated,

such

changes

can

prove

to

be

personally

empowering.

Assuming you are comfortable with your physical presence, what else

may be holding you back? Perhaps, just as in other aspects of dating,

you need to push the boundaries of your comfort zone.