Jasbina Ahluwalia
is an Indian-American attorney turned entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker / Dating Coach.
She is the Founder / President of Intersections Match, the only Elite
Personalized Matchmaking & Dating Coaching Firm in the country serving
Selective Singles of South Asian descent Nationwide in the U.S. She is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show
featuring conversations with published authors/experts on relationships, health & wellness. For info, please visit
www.IntersectionsMatch.com Feel
free to submit a Question to be considered for this column to Jasbina directly at
Jasbina@IntersectionsMatch.com.
QUESTION
I have a great boyfriend, who
is smart, funny, and cute. We
get along really well, except for
one problem, his job involves a
lot of travel and there are times
when he is on the road for
months. I find his absences
difficult to deal with (although
when he returns, we seem to be
fine again). I’m concerned
about how I’ll be able to cope
with this long term. Would it
be fair to move? I know it
would be tough to give up on
this relationship and I am
confused about what to do.
ANSWER
by Jasbina Ahluwalia
Whether or not to end this relationship is a decision that only you can
make. I can share some thoughts in the hopes of empowering you to
navigate your way to the decision that is right for you.
Have you and your boyfriend ever had a heart-to-heart addressing
this issue? Have you openly shared with him how you feel in his
absence? Have you given him the opportunity to share openly with
you how he feels about his travel in the present time; and whether
he foresees a similar level of travel in the future?
In my opinion, for this discussion to be most beneficial, it is
important that you encourage him to be candid about his thoughts
and feelings.
Let him know that you can handle hearing whatever they are
(as opposed to him potentially feeling the need to be less than
candid so as not to disappoint you).
If you both feel truly invested in your relationship, perhaps the two
of you can attempt to explore ways to accommodate your respective
needs regarding this issue. For example, it may be feasible for either
one of you to travel to see the other during extended periods of travel,
perhaps on weekends. Share a brainstorming session regarding
potential areas of compromise with respect to this issue.
Given how positively you feel about your boyfriend (great, smart,
funny, cute), and how well you believe you get along, it seems it may
be worth the effort of at least discussing your respective feelings
about his travel, and together exploring ways to deal with it.
Perhaps most importantly, the manner in which you both approach
accommodating each other’s respective needs with respect to this
issue may help you decide how you feel about remaining in a
relationship with your boyfriend. Best wishes.
For Advertising call 404-246-3256 or email at desiexpress@ymail.com
24
