Jasbina Ahluwalia is an Attorney turned Entrepreneur, Indian-American Relationship Expert, Matchmaker and

Radio Show Host. She is the Founder / President of Intersections Match, the only Elite Personalized Matchmaking &

Dating Coaching Firm in the country serving Selective Singles of South Asian descent Nationwide in the U.S. Jasbina is

also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show featuring conversations with published authors/

experts on relationships and health and wellness.

For more information, please visit www.IntersectionsMatch.com. Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this

column to Jasbina directly at Jasbina@IntersectionsMatch.com.

QUESTION

I met a guy on one of the Indian

dating sites, and we’ve been

communicating both through the phone and

email for about five months now. Things are

great between us and we feel completely

compatible even though it’s been a

long-distance relationship. My parents

automatically distrust him because

they believe that he must be using me to get

a green card or U.S. citizenship. He has an

H-1 visa, lives in the United States, and

would like to settle here permanently. I’ve

had numerous arguments with them about

the subject. What do you think?

ANSWER

by Jasbina Ahluwalia

A couple of different issues jump out at

me from your question.

In my opinion it is very important for the

two of you to spend quality time together

in person. While doing so may involve a

great deal of investment in time, energy,

and money, it is important to ensure

that the two of you are compatible when

meeting face-to-face as well.

Five months of a long-distance relation-

ship without meeting in person even

once cannot be adequate to

assess

compatibility.

With respect to the green card and citizen-

ship issue, do ask your parents the reasons

underlying their beliefs. Their concerns

may be legitimate. Are there any particular

red flags they have noticed? Try your

best to be open to hearing what they

have to say.

Since you are emotionally involved with

him, it is likely easier for you to ignore or

not notice red flags. That said, if the only

reason for your parents’ concern is that he

is not a permanent resident, in my opinion

it is not disrespectful for you to agree to

disagree with their opinion.

Best wishes to you during this challenging

time.

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