Jasbina Ahluwalia

is an Indian-American attorney turned entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker / Dating Coach.

She is the Founder / President of Intersections Match, the only Elite

Personalized Matchmaking & Dating Coaching Firm in the country serving

Selective Singles of South Asian descent Nationwide in the U.S. Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle

show featuring conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness. For more information, please visit

www.IntersectionsMatch.com. Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this

column to Jasbina

directly at

Jasbina@IntersectionsMatch.com.

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QUESTION

What can women do about the

“intimidation” factor? When men

learn I am highly educated and

successful, they often get intimi-

dated. It doesn’t make for a suc-

cessful dating life and it is also so

disheartening, especially because

I’ve worked so hard to achieve

these goals.

ANSWER

by Jasbina Ahluwalia

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling disheartened that won’t be of any help

in the dating process. I think it’s time for a mindset shift. I’d like you to

consider your educational and professional accomplishments as assets, as

opposed to liabilities, in your dating efforts. To help you get there, I’d like

to share statistics you (and other highly accomplished female readers) will

find reassuring.

Nearly half of all single women believe their professional success is

intimidating to the men they meet. However, a 2005 article in the American

Journal of Sociology, based on a study of interpersonal relationships in 60

communities nationwide, concludes that women in positions of power are

sexier to men than women in less powerful positions.

According to research by Christine Whelan, an Oxford-educated scholar of

social history and author of Marry Smart: The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to

True Love:



As many as 71% of high-achieving men said a woman’s educational or

career success makes her more desirable as a wife.



As many as 92% of men who describe themselves as either “very

successful” or “successful” say they are more attracted to women who

are successful in their careers.



As many as 89% of high-achieving men say they’d like to marry, or have

already married, a woman who is as or more intelligent than they are.



As many as 68% of single high-achieving men report that they would

like to marry a woman who is as committed to her career as they are to

theirs.

Now are some guys turned off or intimidated by successful women?

Absolutely! Just don’t waste your valuable time with them. The findings

above suggest that there are many guys out there who will view your accom-

plishments favorably.

The good news is that it is a myth that men are generally turned off by

successful women. The bad news is that this myth can insidiously become a

self-fulfilling prophecy for successful women who believe it to be true.

By buying into this myth, some successful women can be their own worst

detractors in dating. So what CAN accomplished women do? Check out

next month’s column for some concrete suggestions!