Finding the Truth in His Lies
This book is very interesting. You advise readers not to look for truthful behavior. What do you mean by that, Dan?
When someone looks for truthful behavior, they’re going to find it. Here’s why. Truthful behavior is one of the easiest things to fake.
If you were to ask people, “What does truthful behavior look like?” you are going to get many more accurate answers than you would get if you asked someone, “What does lying look like?”
Finding the Truth in His Lies: Defining Honest Behavior
If you ask someone, “What does truthful behavior look like?” they’re going to say:
- “Someone looks me straight in the eye.”
- “They seemed pretty calm when they gave their answer.”
- “They didn’t jitter or move their body.”
People can give the impression of truthfulness whether they’re being truthful or not. If you spend time looking for truthful behavior, you’re going to find it.
Finding the Truth in His Lies: Facing Deception
Therefore, don’t look for that. You will most likely be deceived. What I talk about in the book is looking for deceptive behavior.
What you look for, you’re going to find. If you want to believe someone then keep doing what you’re doing. Look to believe them. Look for the truthful behavior. You’re going to see it. Even liars will show you truthful behavior. Not everything that they say is a lie.
If you want to find out if someone is lying to you, which happens very often, you need to know what to look for. That’s a lot of what I talk about in my book.
Finding the truth in his lies requires believing that dishonesty is there in the first place. Give us your insights in the comments section below on how what to look for that has made a difference or how it can make a difference in your relationship.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dan Crum.
The entire interview transcript is at: Dan Crum Interview – Is He Lying to You?
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes